Love's Second Meaning

I am almost oblivious,
so close that things that
are clearly meant to be
understood aren't.
Gullible is part of my personality
and if you don't like it
then walk away now.
I love you doesn't mean
the same thing anymore,
it's just another way to say
you want me in that sleazy
kind of way when sex is all
that love is involved in.
I have heard that phrase
long enough and that is what
I am accustomed to believing.
Somehow, I always trusted you
when you told me you cared,
that's when I realized I said
that exact thing to you
and it never had a meaning.
I try so hard not to let you
see how much I can't stand you.
That's why when I say I'm
almost oblivious...
I mean I am almost oblivious
as you...

What Am I?

What am I to you?

Your personal anger

management...

some sort of stress

reliever you unleash

your fists on?

I can't tell if your smiles

are true or not so

I always stand clear

of what can happen.

What am I to you?

Was I every anything?

I've seen old pictures
where I sat in your lap

and the smile you were

wearing is nothing like

the one you give me today.

Those memories are faded

and I can't do anything,

but close my eyes and try

to remember how

everything changed.

What am I?

Please, just tell me.

It doesn't even matter

how much it will hurt,

because it will never

compair to how

I already feel.

I feel like you hate me,

the feeling I have conceived

toward you is dislike,

and I know this isn't right.

What am I to you?

I don't even care.

I just want you to love me.

I want to be teh daughter

you always wanted and

not the failure that

you beleive I am.

Sweet October

Come back to me sweet October.

Bring back that crisp air

and the smell of decaying leaves.

Come back to me sweet autumn.

Please return to me my love.

These passed six months

without you slowly tore away

at the remaining sanity left in me.

You have been away for too

long now and my mind

is already in madness.

When will tomorrow be the

day that I can hold

your hand again?

I can't take this sadness anymore.

The pain is too much to

endure for another month.

Each day depletes more of me.

I don't know how much

longer I can hold on to

your last words until I

finally break.

I've been living with you in

dreams to keep myself sane.

I hope your doing better

then I am.

I pray for your happiness

every night.