Love's Second Meaning

I am almost oblivious,
so close that things that
are clearly meant to be
understood aren't.
Gullible is part of my personality
and if you don't like it
then walk away now.
I love you doesn't mean
the same thing anymore,
it's just another way to say
you want me in that sleazy
kind of way when sex is all
that love is involved in.
I have heard that phrase
long enough and that is what
I am accustomed to believing.
Somehow, I always trusted you
when you told me you cared,
that's when I realized I said
that exact thing to you
and it never had a meaning.
I try so hard not to let you
see how much I can't stand you.
That's why when I say I'm
almost oblivious...
I mean I am almost oblivious
as you...

What Am I?

What am I to you?

Your personal anger

management...

some sort of stress

reliever you unleash

your fists on?

I can't tell if your smiles

are true or not so

I always stand clear

of what can happen.

What am I to you?

Was I every anything?

I've seen old pictures
where I sat in your lap

and the smile you were

wearing is nothing like

the one you give me today.

Those memories are faded

and I can't do anything,

but close my eyes and try

to remember how

everything changed.

What am I?

Please, just tell me.

It doesn't even matter

how much it will hurt,

because it will never

compair to how

I already feel.

I feel like you hate me,

the feeling I have conceived

toward you is dislike,

and I know this isn't right.

What am I to you?

I don't even care.

I just want you to love me.

I want to be teh daughter

you always wanted and

not the failure that

you beleive I am.

Sweet October

Come back to me sweet October.

Bring back that crisp air

and the smell of decaying leaves.

Come back to me sweet autumn.

Please return to me my love.

These passed six months

without you slowly tore away

at the remaining sanity left in me.

You have been away for too

long now and my mind

is already in madness.

When will tomorrow be the

day that I can hold

your hand again?

I can't take this sadness anymore.

The pain is too much to

endure for another month.

Each day depletes more of me.

I don't know how much

longer I can hold on to

your last words until I

finally break.

I've been living with you in

dreams to keep myself sane.

I hope your doing better

then I am.

I pray for your happiness

every night.

Why Follow?

NOTE: This is a rantish type thing. (Yes, I know rantish isn't a word... I made it up.)

I never understood why the human mind is so easily contorted. Is it true that one always must follow? It can't be... or there would be no leaders. So why does everyone FOLLOW?!

Give Me an Answer

Separate them.

Pick apart everything

until there is nothing left to find.

There is too much

to see inside me.

Paranoia can't escape these

walls of unease and disconfidence.

The only thing that

slips inside is fear.

Fear of lonliness.

Fear of hatred.

Fear of pain.

The lies...

The sadness...

The tears...

What is there to create other then questions?

Hello Memories,

I decied to try and

comfront you again.

Remind me of that thing t

hat I've forgotten.

You know...

that story about the boy that

jump started my heart.

A Vampires Kiss

My world was sent spiraling into oblivion

the moment you pressed your lips against my neck.

I gasped for air as you pulled me under.

Your hands slid slowly up my body

creating a ripple of chills through me.

When your hand stopped...

I felt your lips part on my neck.

Your warm breath seeped into my skin,

my heart stopped beating.

I closed my eyes and you ran your tongue

across my neck onto my throat and back again.

I whispered your name...

in that instant you seized control.

You pressed your teeth against

my neck piercing my skin.

My warm blood dripped out...

you drank the sweet liquids as I cried.

Strive So Hard

I wrote this a while ago... but what do you think?

If I didn't have such an

incredible yearning for you

I wouldn't be in this

mode of obsession.

Maybe if I could stop

I wouldn't be so paranoid.

Constant questions flow

through me and escape

without want.

I am so uncontrollable...

my love for you pulls me

way under, drowning

my mind entirely.

Even so,

I want you so much...

I wish that it wouldn't show.

Don't give mind to my

constant worries... I'll try

to vanish them.

The fears push and

rush in, but why?

The words whisper

repetitively keeping me

awake, but why?

I strive too hard and

it hurts... I'm beginning to

slowly slip into constant

pain until I overload...

until I scream.

Hold me...

I want this to go away.

Soon... thats what

I tell myself.

Soon... is what

they say.

No matter how much

more I hurt I refuse

to go.

Without your endearing

smile I can't even live.

Just a little longer...

I will ignore it for now.

I must give myself a rest.

Message in a Bottle

Three years are gone

now and I still

haven't seen you.

You said you'd come

back to me, my love.

I'm still waiting

I want to see your

lovely smile...

The one you gave

me before you set

sail on that rainy

day in April.

The sky was darker

then it ever was.

Remember?

Yuor lips tasted like

sea salt...

I used to hate that.

Now I long for it.

The sea is my home

now, just like it

always was to you.

Eighteen Years Lost

On the bridge of his
adulthood, a boy of
darkness stood in the
grave site of his beloved.
One solitary black rose
clasped in his hand.
His tears feed its open
mouth as a river of
blood stained the stem.
A single rose petal fell
from his fingertips as he
slowly peeled another away.
The shattering ice from the
branches of the sorrowful trees
was heard, echoing all about.
The deathbed was scattered
with pedals he disposed.
They were soon swept away
in the chilly wind like
his memories.
Nothing was left but the
boy and his abandon heart...
Kneeling before the
mound of dirt.

Karin -Usui-kuns Evil Angel

This is a video of one of my favorite animes. It's soooooo beautiful.

ANNA TSUCHIYA inspi' NANA(BLACK STONES)~Rose/Zero StreetLive

She is one of my FAVORITE JRock artists! Isn't she great?!